don't do things for the sake of it

3rd day of new year

2012-01-25T20:36:00.001+08:00

today is the third day of lunar new year.. and is definitely a fruitful day for me

Today was my official first day of work after cny break! and suay enough,I have no idea wad happen,woke up feelin super duper nauseous.squatted in front of the toilet bowl for 5mins and still unable to puke it out
went to work as per normal and bought mr bean for breakfast hoping that it will at least relieve some discomfort
Moral of e story: NEVER BUY SOYABEAN IF URE HAVING STOMACH DISCOMFORT (I swear it was churning in my stomach) but thankfully I was better after awhile la

was damn shocked when I saw my name on e manpower allocation for morning dispensing..
But oh wells,today really went well..the first patient that I dispensed to, got me motivated enough already :)
he told me that he liked the staffs here:) and he ktph staffs are really friendly and nice :))) HAPPY!! Wasn't referring to me but I'm happy this patient was happy with the services at KTPH and I did my job -- to convey info on his medications :)) he really made my day

there were a few other more patients that were really friendly as well but there's one patient in particular that I really thank god he is very nice otherwise I'm bound to get scoldings sia (dispensed some painkillers to him and I taught him a method to take the medications to maximize the painkiller effect..but I shd have done it the other way round, and he thanked me for coming up to tell him :)) hehes , totally made my day! )

Ohwells, Despite some discouraging factors, I really must thank god for making today such a memorable start of e new week
And guess wad,it's already mid week! Woots

And I slept my whole afternoon away -.-tonight sure cannot sleep..zomg
boyfriend is booking in tomorrow morning already,hais .....

KTPH Orientation

2012-01-12T23:29:00.002+08:00

Come to think of it, i have already been working at KTPH for 1 year 2 mth+?
well, minus away the time that i was still a temp, fine la.im only there for 5mths.
actually all new staffs are to attend the orientation before confirmation if im not wrong (which is like within 3mths of joining alexandra health la).
and YES! one of my colleague was saying im like a old staff among all the new staffs! lols!! cannot blame me lor! the orientation is 2 FULL day and of all days; it has to fall on wed and thur (fixed). both days i got personal commitment lor.but then hor, thurs one more important la.cuz piano lesson cannot miss leh =( one lesson so expensive sia.. end up still have to miss because of the CEO speech.
ahya, whatever la, at least i go half day only.

ORIENTATION IS FINALLY OVER! yeahhhhh =pp
COO speech was on the first day and CEO speech on the second day.. COO one lasted for 1.5hrs; but CEO one lasted for 4.5 hrs!! i have no idea how i do it, but yea man,didn't fall asleep at all! IM SO SUPER DUPER PROUD OF MYSELF! TYVM!
actually i think CEO's speech was actually quite inspirational, made lots of sense and was quite humourous la.except that he got something against people who don't exercise and that are obese..
the ONLY worst thing was he expected 5 qns from the audience before he dismiss us..otherwise he will sit there and look at us until we come up with 5 qn (AND HE REALLY DID - he sat on the stage and look blankly at us =.=)
i was dying to go off and i see no one wanna ask the last qn so i volunteered lor. =.= he say can give comments or ask qn.
so i gave comments =x and it turned out disastrous.super sia.
i ask him why he got something against obese people ..then guess what he said.
" u r not fat; why are u defending them ; and yes i have something against that"
is like =.= wad the hell. i mean dun say until so blunt la,i jus cant stand it that he say until like those people have no tomorrow like that ..excluding those who really dun exercise, i strongly believe there are people who have genetic disorder then cannot slim down etc one wad right!
and also no time to exercise. he said no time is not an excuse.true enough, i agree..because there is no such thing such as no time, only whether ure disciplined enough to do so..BUT this make me wanna throw the mike at him.. and shout YES! IM THAT GROUP OF PEOPLE (NO TIME ONE)
he bloody CEO got alot of work i know right..he said he exercise before coming to work etc.
its bullshit for me lor.he totally never think of poor souls like us! who have to study and work. morning 9 - 2.15 work. reach home 3+. rest awhile and do misc stuff, eat dinner, 5.50 leave house for sch.7pm sch till 10.by the time reach home 11+ u think my mum will allow me go out and run alone ar? i can run in the morning la, but i need to have enuff sleep also one right.not like i have enough sleep every single day. grrr...i hate it when people touch on my sensitive issue.seriously. wasn't so mad until he mentioned the part on self-discipline. grrrrr.

ok fine, shan't rant too much about it !
shall update on some interesting things i learnt from the orientation soon =)
sian tml still got test for diabetic medications...darnnnnn..tonight duno wad time can sleep already..off to do work.!!!
ZAI JIANNNN!

Forget it

2012-01-11T06:39:00.001+08:00

Ok I'm tired..can't be bothered

Need help!

2012-01-11T00:18:00.001+08:00

Can anybody tell me how I can private a certain post?! Just that 1 post ?!

Blood donation drive 10.01.2012

2012-01-10T17:21:00.007+08:00

Its the first blood donation drive in KTPH in the year 2012!

how can i miss it right? have been waiting for so long since i missed the one in Oct 2011 because i wasn't allowed to.
the doctor there said that because i have been to Bintan, which is i think like have risk of malaria.so they wouldn't be able to donate my blood.
so, as a result of that, i didn't donate during the last donation drive.
and the one before was in July.that was the first time that i was told that Bintan has risk of malaria, and hence even if i donate my blood, only the plasma part would be extracted and donated.of course i went ahead la.afterall i queued so long right.

anyway...glad that today's donation went pretty smoothly =)
the waiting process was as usual luh...long and boring.hahas.
for people who have yet to donate their blood before, the process is as below:
1. Fill in particulars and declaration form
2. Registration
3. Medical screening
4. Hb Test ( Hemoglobin level must be at least 12.5g/l)
5. Actual blood donation
Process looks short right; but its a pretty long process la i would say. From registration to completing the blood donation, it took me 1hr 30min..

the worst thing is, u are not able to know whether you are able to donate until the 4th station which is to test for the hemoglobin level.so imagine by the time u queued for like 1hr and then u cant donate.damn suay right?
so.....if u know u have been to malaria infected countries, or countries with risk of malaria, dont waste ur time ok..u can only donate 6mths later from the day you return to singapore.

anyway, other than that, of cuz, its a kinda experience that simply cant be put into words.even though O+ donor shd be in abundance since O+ are the most common, it still feels good to be able to donate ur blood and it feels even better if ur bag of blood can save lives.

ok, enough of all these, today's experience was pretty cool.
im damn proud of myself cuz the nurse say my blood flow very fast! =p hahas!
the one who injected and put the needle in for me is a senior nurse! im damn lucky!
and ya, she found my vein in no time and sweat when the prev time i went they couldn find my vein =.=
anyway, ya, when she finished taking the samples, she was like "WAH, the base of the bag filled up already ah! so fast!" heh heh heh~
in no more than 7 mins, my bag was like filled la.but i duno why nobody attended to me..
me , with itchy finger, go n poke the bag of blood (cuz it looks like its gonna burst) then the stand suddenly drop!!! ZOMG
luckily the stand will move cuz i think if the bag is filled with enough blood, it will move downwards luh, like a weighing balance or something like that..hahas
scare the shit outta me sia, like seriouusly....LOL!

anyway.ya..then like 5mins later, when another asst nurse saw my blood (think cuz i was looking around n looking lost)she came over and quickly tooked out the needle.
hahas, the most interesting thing is when she put my bag down on the table, it was like the super steady kinda bag.like totally no air inside that kind.
i saw all others' bag got the "bouncy bouncy" effect when put down on a surface, my one like a water balloon that will burst if u throw it with much force =.=

hahas, anyway, at the end of the day! im proud of myself~ donated alone...once again.
super brave! hehehe!

and when the temp staff was about to tie the bandage! she was super nice enough to ask me whether i wan pink or green =)) hehehe..my past few bandages was pink, so i went for green this time ^^ (didn get to choose last time)
oh....and got free gift sia.

hahas, i guess this i probably wun be able to use la.so im going to keep it for my daughter...whahahahas!!

TYVM! hehehe, im so happppieeee!

thereafter, went to get my specs done! and the optician was damn nice i swear..
when i went to the shop, he was actually teaching a sec sch guy how to wear contacts, hahs! so i looked around to find if theres still other nicer pair of specs; but hor,the guy like after 10mins still couldn't put the contacts in, i think he like duno what to do sia, then he ask that sec sch boy to rest first.then he passed me my specs to see if thats what i really want.then heres the best thing, he said he saw a pair of specs with orange side! so he put it aside for me!!
at first i thought it was too bright but after awhile,. really found it quite nice sia, hahas..which is the reason why i ended up getting that pair! and best of all.... 100 bucks only..ZOMG!
super duper make my day sia! hehehe.
on a side note, i think that uncle who thought me how to wear contacts shd be grateful lor..no matter how long i took and how much failure i went through, i took a mere 10mins only lor..he shd have been as patient as that optician just now =xx opps=pp *EVIL*

well, i should say today is a good day for me eh! ok luh, until the evening part of the day onwards that it was kinda -.- ; shant say much.
shall end here? seems like a super lengthy post! =) enjoy!

fuming

2012-01-09T00:10:00.001+08:00

come to think of it..I think I have a better anger management now compared to last time?

Used to speak my mind off whenever I had comments to make.but now, I'm actually thinking before I speak.
Is that a good thing? I really hope it is;otherwise it only means that I'm bottling all true feelings.like a trying to suppress all my inner feelings -.-

Hais anyway I'm not gonna make any personal attacks on my blog..
Really don't wanna make things look bad on other people..as well as for myself to of course =x
So I really am hoping things will take a turn for e better..shall keep my fingers crossed and mouth shut

But to people whom I have been ranting to especially my love,really sorry for all my nonsense

Hope 2012 is gonna be better.god bless

random photos

2012-01-08T00:09:00.002+08:00

well, the first week of 2012 is officially over.
come to think of it, i think this year is kind of like a bad year for me?
well, i really do hope i think too much and that things will get better?
so, once again, i shall reinforce my 2012 resolution. its just one resolution; am not going to be greedy and unrealistic, so i really hope i can accomplish it.
to be more self-disciplined. at first was just thinking along the line of some commitments, but since its just a very simple and general statement, i shall make sure it is applicable to ALL of my personal commitments! ALL DE WAY!
MAY THIS BRAND NEW YEAR BE A GOOD ONE FOR ME! (starting this week =.=)AND FOR ALL OF MY FAMILY, FRIENDS and LOVED ONES =)

hmmmm, in the year of 2011 i think i really accomplished quite alot of things? some are things that i never believed i actually tried; some are things that i think was pretty awesome; so on so forth.ok ..am gonna list out some random shits worth remembering in 2011 =)

random flashbacks from 2011
1. donated my first bag of blood
2. first ever full marathon (standard chartered)
3. full of shit - i seriously don't remember i was this talkative before?
4. gotten my first pair of contact lens - coloured one ok! PURPLE ONE! and when i can wear it 5mins, i felt damn proud of myself.now that i can put it in like in less than a min, i feel like a boss! woohoo
5. did my first ever manicure last CNY with EVON LIM
6. Passed LS123 =)

ok fine -.- can't think of anything to add already
feeling like a boss now! hahahas, so below are the photos of my dinner last week =x
have weird mealtime now,its like just breakfast and lunch-cum-dinner in the late afternoon. well, can't blame me for eating so much right, 'cuz i have like a super early dinner =xx
totally love pasta=))) and thus, have been cooking pasta for dinner =x totally proud of myself sia!

above, is my first pasta dinner. portion looked small right? hahas.well, 'cuz my mum sort of cooked this for me..hahas, was preparing all the ingredients and whatnots when she suddenly came to take over .

now, look small also right.but does anybody know of the SUPER OLD SCHOOL bowl? the one with the chicken in front of it?
LOL, it is that big and deep..my photography skill is damn lousy right! make it look like the portion is damn small..hahas, but well, i was not very full even after finishing in 5mins.so i guess, its upsize upsize and UPSIZE! =p

kinda miss the pasta i ate at AMICI restaurant when i had the last COUSIN OUTING
hmmm, wondering when i can go back again =pp

okie dokie! shall end here =)

hetic week

2012-01-06T16:39:00.002+08:00

First DPS1 lab report is due today..
although i have just printed it out, but i just don't have the satisfied feeling that im doing it the right way.
if only i have started earlier; or better still, i don't even have to write the report=x
hais, what's done cannot be undone.so im keeping my fingers crossed and praying for the BEST

degree increased; and have yet to make a new pair of spectacles =( hais.
so many things to do, yet there is limited time.
looks like life is like running a race. ok, lets looks at things from the perspective of 3 runners (with the same standard)

Runner 1
Runs fast
Gets all the glory
Sense of Self-satisfaction
Longer rest time (probably also while waiting for the friend)

Runner 2
Runs at a moderate and comfortable pace
May or may not be good timing, but definitely outdo personal best
Still have that sense of self satisfaction
Rest time is not of much significance in this case

Runner 3
Runs super slow
Heck care attitude
Probably take own sweet time and upon realising that the cut off time is about to be reached, run as fast as possible to make sure race status is at least not a DNF

ok, if the standard is different, and a not-so-seasoned runner runs slow, he/she is definitely not in the 3rd cat. but if the standard is same throughout, it is definitely something i would think the person should be ashamed.

sounds like im trying to say something about myself right.
well, just a random thought. no one is to judge me!=xx
kinda don't know whats the significance of this post and this example anyway.

gotta go and prepare for lesson already!
TGIF!

titanic exhibition

2012-01-02T23:11:00.005+08:00

its 2012! happy new year everyone!
ended my 2011 with my family this year =))kinda sad, cuz no partyting =xx but! ohwells, still gotta work the following morning, so i guess its better to be at home at that point of time, and also to avoid crowd etc

well, 2012 seems pretty dreaded in the same time. because of the movie 2012 its seriously getting all of us paranoid i suppose.like seriously cant help thinking if e world is like going to end and stuff like that..
all i could say is i believe in fate and destiny. so if its meant to happen, it will really happen.no matter what, u will not be able to escape this kinda calamity?
so, just live and enjoy every single day like its the last!
(ok,come to think of it, im being overly optimistic cuz im having headache from all the thoughts about e formative essay =.=)arghs.not like im gonna start anytime soon anyway..on a side note, report is due this fri -.-' sian max.

TITANIC EXHIBITION with LOVE
went to titanic exhibition with love this morning =))

ticket for this exhibition! hehehe!

hehe, have been wanting to go this exhibition since the start of it. well, its not too late to go today of course, but yeppS! super happy we finally did!
love has been really busy with work and study and exams etc ever since he signed on, and i have been working and studying everyday, so...i guess its finally time we can have a proper day out for all these exhibitions and stuff =))

well, i think its pretty cool!! this exhibition is at artscience museum near MBS!
interior of e lobby looked pretty small, but who knows the basement could actually be like OMG big enough to house all those exhibits.
sadly to say, no photography was allowed.so i didn have the chance to take photos of the artifacts and all...damn sad sia seriously cuz there are some really cool and interesting ones.but ohwell...
i think the boarding pass they have are nice and exquisite? ok, maybe not to the extent of the super chio kind, but i definitely would say that it is interesting=))

this is the picture of the boarding pass! the front of cuz!
behind still got something cool. its like it contains the particulars of one of the passenger and some details of it [like which class, what are they there for etc] which im pretty impressed with all the thoughts that went down to making it

2 different passenger details! one from my boarding pass and the other one from weihong!!

well, those who are interested should go down and have a look!! before it ends (in apr if im nt wrong). i think its like commerative of the 100th anniversary of the titanic incident ! so its really meaningful~~

hehe, shall end my post here..time to sleeeeeep! really tired.

*note to self. no more alcohol for the next few months. Around the world has seriously made me feel like im going "around the world" and gobbling down almost the whole packet of jellybean with love just to get rid of the taste that's still lingering in my mouth =.=

ok, the most disgusting moment...

to my love <3:
cant wait till ur next bookout.love you^^

So near yet so far

2011-12-28T00:57:00.001+08:00

I believe in karma and definitely am a believer that you are what you are because of what you did in ur previous life ..sounds weird and cliche right..
Anyway..just some random thought..

I guess everytime I blog, it's like e same old thing --> to complain about how mundane life is.. Well, have kinda gotten used to this sad fact; but on e brighter side of this whole issue of mundane lifestyle..I seemed to have gotten so used that I dun give a damn to it..ok maybe I do but not as much!?

Just kinda need to convince myself to be more self disciplined to continue living this kinda life for 3-4 more years. But I guess everything have their pros and cons right.. I can say for sure that I'm definitely going to miss studying life once I graduate..ah damn,ironic right

Hais..on a side note how much can I prioritse my personal commitments..it's gonna be hard..really. cuz there seems to be nothing to hold me back or to even keep me strong

Just hope someone will be there to catch me if I fall......

scms + misc.

2011-12-17T13:28:00.002+08:00

finally got the chance to login to blogger via desktop.
sighs..laptop is really screwed up max.
ohwell..

Standard Chartered Marathon Singapore 2011
My first ever full marathon. Well, experience wise i would say its pretty cool.
To me, this is one of the kind of events that you would probably wanna join at least once in a lifetime? But other than that, just join for the sake of experience i think is ok la.full marathons are really tiring and mentally demanding.
the worst thing to expect is actually not from the running part.but when u start walking ; u will feel like ure never gonna reach the finishing point like seriously.
So i guess...it will take me some time to join another one again? hahas, thats a pretty bold statement =xx
So, looks like im gonna give Sundown 2012 a miss already =xx

Was feeling damn sian that i actually reached the event site a little tooooo early (flagoff at 5 and i reached at 3).well sorta thankful i reached early also luh, cuz i heard alot of people had problems with baggage deposit.
but little did i know there are actually people who goes crazy over this issue. i think they probably were late to make it into the starting point due to the whatever-problems at the baggage deposit area. and u know its kinda farrrrr! (from far east shopping ctr to somerset)

For me i was pretty lucky to not have to go through all these shitty stuff.
Just that one thing i think i was majorly unpleased about is probably just the girl from the waterpoint bahs.i know im being very petty here =xx but its still a pretty rude experience bahs.
all of us had to take the underpass from wheelock to ION; and so when i exited from ION, there was one waterstation there. then all the volunteers were actively getting participants to hydrate i suppose.
but well, i turned down quite a few because i CANT drink before running as i will get stitches la. then there is this ONE PARTICULAR female volunteer who TSK! me when i turned her down.
eh hello, is like i turned you down with a THANKS and a SMILE! not like im being like arrogant or whatever shit right.so freaking RUDE man!!
arghs whatever.its like so long ago and i can't believe i can still bitch about it here and now.

MISC.
dennis is a stalker! hahahas, he seems very concerned about the contact lens issue! opps..hahas, just kidding la dennis dun kill me.cuz i know u always read my blog, so im jus saying for fun.
i still haven't make up my mind to whether to get a new pair of specs or coloured contacts.so...still keeping my choices open!
*secret* i just wanna use up all of my flex plan money before it gets forfeited =xx

life is pretty mundane i should say.
morning => work. afternn =>rest evening =>study night=>sleep.
and the cycle goes again and again..for god knows how long it gonna be.
well, but i should be glad to be able to do the things i want ..so, really gotta just hang in there man.
for me, for my future, for my loved ones etc..
omg, sound so unlike me right~ whatever,lols.not sure how long i can hold on to that kinda belief also.hahahhas.

all i need to know is i have a superb girlfriend and brother.
this is all that i need to know to keep me going.love u both.

another new post after so long

2011-12-13T00:31:00.003+08:00

sighs max, looks like i really have no choice but to use my phone to blog. Stupid laptop that even god has no idea why access to blogger or even google related websites are denied.
Have been wanting to blog about stand chart experience and all yet not having e chance to do so anyway
hais.sad life.

Still has abt 50+bucks in my flex plan.really wanna spend it away before e end of 2011, before it gets forfeited.
Tt amt left i wld definitely use it to get a new sports shoe.
So meaning i would get specs? A new pair of specs?
Or maybe i shd go for contact lenses? Wanted to get coloured contacts cuz it looked really cool, but has been advised not to get coloured one cuz its nt good for e eyes.
Hais..dunno leh.cant make up my mind.
My degree increased by 50! Means like my RE is 125 already..omg, what e hell did i do man.. Im so upset with myself..hais..

Totally no idea when i can get to blog abt wad else i want to, but shall see when i can use e desktop! So tt i can type until happpieeeee.
Tml no sch!! Means rest day. But means, there will be replacement classes right o.o zzzzzz

Enlightened I suppose?

2011-09-23T00:47:00.001+08:00

Really hard to see things openly but for this once, I'm going to do myself a favour and just credit myself so that I can don't feel so bad

Everything, to me, feels like a 4 x 100m relay.. It's just like how 1 person puts in effort and e rest don't. Because at e end of the day, it's not just one person's effort to win e race but everyone's effort

I did All i could..really.I tried my best

p.s.
will be here no matter what happens..~~just in case I'm needed~~ u know it's a promise true enough to last till god knows when

Vulnerable much

2011-09-21T00:42:00.001+08:00

Didn't know life as an adult would be such a sad thing for me..
Well,not exactly an adult but soon-to-be adult? At least i'm working now while waiting for school to start.. Never liked being dependent on anyone and I never will allow myself to be like one.. No matter how bad of a person I am with all my really bad temper I must really reinforce the fact that pride matters pretty much to me..
Now I have exactly no slightest idea what i'm doing, what i'm saying and what I'm typing..everything seems so disorientated.and I'm kinda at a lost

Everybody is busy with their own life. And it's kinda sad to know everyone is moving on fine without u.and it comes down to me hating myself once again for not doing what I should in e past; which is making me regret much about everything I have done which is a wrong step taken.

But what could I possibly do..

All those promises.
Looks like humans forget what they say and simply Promise too easily

At e end of the day.who's really gg to be there....cansomeonebringmeoutofdarkness

where is everyone

2011-09-15T01:30:00.001+08:00

Hais!! Where is everyone!! Sigh a million times
Everyone is like busy with their own life :(( those who r in uni are like busy mugging and interacting with their new social circles. Those who are working are busy working..bcuz adult working life sucks max (but minority of my friends are in this category actually). And last but not least...friends who are off to serve e nation.. No matter whether they r enlisted to army/police (jiayou la people be it willing or unwilling)
Hais!! Missed e old school days man!! Regret not getting e fun out of it last time :( and now everyone has their own life to lead
Hope time will come for all of us to get together again!! Because yours truly is BORED MAX and SUPER-NO-LIFEishhhhhhh

Last man standing

2011-09-12T00:13:00.001+08:00

Was watching The Last Man Standing on channel 5 earlier on and thought it was pretty motivational
I'm not sure where the location was but the snowy mountainous area was definitely not an easy terrain to run in..
Mental has to be there to keep you running till e end point and I really admire the athletes who managed to finish the race.the race was a marathon la..but I'm not sure if it was a full standard marathon of 42km or what.. But the high level of conidence and discipline e athletes carried with them was certainly worth everyone's admiration
I'm truly amazed :)

Cool stuff:)

2011-09-11T17:33:00.001+08:00

Just downloaded apps for blogger on my itouch and yeahhhhh I CAN FINALLY UPDATE MY BLOG using itouch..at least my blog wun be as dead as it used to be ? Hmmm
Booooo!! Cant wait for school to start man and frankly speaking I have no idea how long can I stay at KTPH..is it really the life that I want? Hais kind of regretting e choices made earlier but I have to admit this is e only way to get more freedom..so I'm not sure if it's a bad thing or good thing
Hope things will turn for e best anyway=x

Have been wondering what new discipline of sports I can explore..has been quite long and I couldn't make up my mind..especially things that I really wanna learn and overcome. And of course the phobia etc that is holding ne back .hais troubled max man :((

im sorry i got so mad

2011-09-07T19:15:00.002+08:00

hais.time of the month..end up i cannot go and swim.
anyways.tts not the main part.called home after work to see if my family had eaten their lunch.then end up mum, dad and sis are at TPY HDB Hub. i thought it was quite near my workplace so i went to join them.
end up! i mixed up TPY and AMK! the one near yishun was actually AMK and NOT TPY! darn. its one stop away from NOVENA la..OMG
anyway..walked around and true enough it was really quite boring la,sorry to say that but ya there really isn much stuff there.
as TPY is really outta e way from my house my parents actually took 966 and changed over to 143. I think my butt was itchy so i told my dad i saw e TPY swimming complex and he asked if me and my mum was ok to walk to e 966 bustop .i was really fine with it for as far as i know i actually hated transfering bus cause i was really exhausted just now..plus my right leg is still very much injured.
i mean like im really ok with walking since we 3 came to a consensus to just walk to the bustop even though it might be far..but after tt i got kinda mad when my dad wants to take the opp direction which means highly possible that we wun get a seat. im not trying to be a pest here but seriously i really dun wanna stand so long cuz my leg is not of e best condition.
then end up he ownself walk (with me and my mum following behind also) and i thought he would walk to the 966 bustop but end up!? he walked to somewhere to take 186 which means WE HAVE TO TRANSFER BUS AGAIN...
the reason why i got so mad with him is like we walked so long because we all dun wanna transfer bus but end up! still have to transfer..wads the point right?! its like we are already somewhere near TTSH! i got so mad that i walked off myself.i really need to cool down or im going to just stand in the middle road and let a car run me down..
actually i have no idea of the directions i should take to TTSH but my angry mind ruled my body and i just contined walking till i got to TTSH..and after that i decided that since im there i might as well walk to velocity to see if they actually sell the thing i wanna buy.so...yupp...
after that i took a bus to bugis and then from there back home.its stupid i know but for the sake of sitting in the bus..i could actually do just that.

although im not as mad as just now.but my pride is too strong and i dun wanna apologise to my dad =( hais...bad day

SAFRA AHM

2011-09-04T19:01:00.003+08:00

should say i was pretty looking forward to this event?
the first time running 21km.
the first time getting out of my house at 2+am to go out
the first time taking NR to town (though i have taken NR home once=x)

anyway...thought all was gonna be just fine..but still...didn know things took for the worse in the end.hais.

feeling was great..really.. to start at 5.15am and the air for once seemed really fresh! the run was alright! and the best part was seriously the one to marina barrage
i swear!! that the best part of e run is the once at marina barrage..its really beautiful.

all was well...really..until the 14km that i felt the strain on my leg.i was not tired at all..just felt the strain on my calves only..i slowed down to prevent further cramps (but to my horror..its but e start of the nightmare)

after crossing the 16km mark..i knew i cant really make it..if i didn remember wrongly.it was the upslope part to ROM and to fort canning .hais..really.
the strain was so bad, muscle was so tight that i know if i dont stop, i will collapse with cramps.

u know wad? most runs had the motivational quotes along the way together with all those road markers.and one that attracted my attention most was something like "Champions continue running" ..SOMETHING LIKE THAT. i swore never to stop. but still end up hais.im a loser..seriously.

the worst part of the cramps was witnessing how my muscle twitched.. its something like spasm la so as to speak.hais.. really damn scary..i saw e muscle dent in la. its really hard to describe wad i went through
i remember somewhere after the 19km mark..which is somewhere behind the speakers corner, i suddenly stood rooted.the cramp was so bad that i cant even move~! i cant run and neither can i walk! basically i jus cant move..the pain was so intense that i help on to the bushes and pulled off several branches etc..it hurts damn badly.
after that i have no idea how i got the energy to move and sat on the ground..
a kind hearted man sprayed salon pas for me! really grateful and i have no idea why i did that but i told the person to help me get paramedic =.= i have NO IDEA wad i was thinking.anyway no paramedics came yet.(thank god)
but a army boy and security came and help me stretch hahas! damn funny! but ok, i didn mean to do it ..bt yea.the rest of the journey was totally walking ...

hais.i never felt so down, so demoralised, and so useless before.
i remember last time no matter how tired i was i still had the energy to have the short distance burst to the finishing line..now i cant even jog.i can barely walk.
hais.can someone out there understand how i feel.? its realli damn saddening and whatsonot.hais.

i could have been able to finish the race by the most 2hr 30min.but now.sucks to be me.
and the most irritating part is..i dunno what went wrong!!!
i was not tired, i even felt great during the run! everything was ok seriously speaking! i just dunno wad went wrong!!!!
this regret's gonna be stuck with me till i figured the root problem .

and i cant believe i got abrasions on my arm.should be my arm movement coming into contact with my singlet.hais! nearly cried when i was bathing..it hurts.seriously.
hais.things are just not going my way.DAMN.FML

source of the problem => my laptop

2011-09-01T10:21:00.003+08:00

now i finally realised why i cant accessed blogger.wtf.
stupid like shit sia.i have no idea why my laptop cannot access to pages as far as google is concerned.. like GMail, blogger, google etc.
lamest thing like shit..end up now my last post was like in APRIL 2011 for gooodness sake! thats almost half a year man

hais..contemplating to whether i should join JM for shopping on SAT! damnit!
its super tempting man!!!

special day

2011-04-22T17:15:00.001+08:00

long long ago..it used to be a special day

but everything is reduced to nothing but dust now

depression mode once again

2011-04-22T17:11:00.002+08:00

thinking back in life on this very good friday
(fuck u, its like every normal other fridays)
i wonder what good have i done in my life, and im afraid my answer is nothing
nothing at all.absolutely nothing at all.

i thought through life long long ago, and thought i know what i want
but what i want is never what i can have or what i can get.
the cold hard truth.once again.

that is how unfair life is ..fml.
i have absolutely no idea how i am going to get through all this shit, but i guess im gonna try my very best still..
have to work doubly hard to realise what is it in life that is really routed just for me.
im lost.with no one with me

has been a whileee

2011-04-14T12:12:00.002+08:00

dunno whats wrong with my laptop.
recently used it for fun and realised that there is no more virus.
looks like time "healed" by laptop.
but dunnnno why! it cant access google.and blogger
so i can only blog when i use my desktop.
and there is time to blog today! cuz there is off every thur! =)

anyway..done a very havoc thing on tue.
i donated my blood~ ZOMG. for the very first time in my life man!!
hesitated for quite awhile ( ok, a very long while), but ended up going ahead, with the encouragement from Regina =)) hehe!
super grateful to her!!

but still felt damn bad, because i didn jio Evon along, and apparently i think she quite upset i didn ask her along
sorry dear =( u were having break at that time and my break was about to end also! duibuqi!! i will jio u the next time i go donate again ok?? have fun at work !

2XU run suck..althou i already knw i wun do well cuz i didn feel like running, but still... the results are a cruel truth that i suck.bleh
have to jiayou for JP Morgan run..!

and to my goodness gracious, received a text frm my piano tcher saying that i passed my piano exam!hope she didn see the wrong name or texted the wrong student etc..i think i will cry and be depressed for quite a long while man! hmmm

so, i guess, i will stop here =))

0

2011-03-14T23:49:00.000+08:00

back to nothing at all.

exams are over

2011-03-05T13:37:00.004+08:00

well, exams ended last tue? and i guess that marks the end of my poly life?
anyway..its over.and perhaps college life ends here as well.
*keeping my fingers crossed*

hmmm! 10 feb~..looks like its close to a month that i haven been updating my blog.
was reading a magazine yst and it has some super cool reasons why women rock.

1. We fall sick less often
because research shows that estrogen boosts immune system against bacteria/viruses :)

2. We can pull off menswear
boyfriend shirt etc; but im sure u haven heard of a guy wearing girlfriend pants right!~ hahas, GAY TTM

3. We have an excuse to be a total bitch once a month :)

4. We are not afraid to cry
good try!! hahas, as long as no one is too hard-hearted to see girls cry

5. We drive better~
hahas, even though youtube videos suggested we tke longer to park; but cmon! hahas, women pay lower premiums then men because global insurance companies believe we are lesser a road hazard

COOOOOOOL~~ hahahas! awesome ttm!

coming close to a month

2011-02-10T18:03:00.002+08:00

it has been a month since i last blogged?
well... all the quizzes coming in.
and guess what! now then i know there's not going to be a study break this time round... GG .FML.
wadever it is la.i dun care.

hmmmm. thinking about what im gonna do after "graduation"
and seems like future aint bright at all..
sighs.. no way im gonna go back to provence to slog my life away and still earning $5 per hr right. sighhhh much!

i can bear to remove the nail polish!~ but i freaking gotta work this sat!
sian..looks like its gonna be a "awesomely"-busy-and-tiring weekend.

and i have yet to receive the timing for piano exam.its getting me kinda nervous although im not hoping it to be so soon anyway..=xx

if only there is 25hrs a day.. lols.
i better stop dreaming.LOL! bad weather bad weather! ahhhhs, its killing me!
bye for the time being! im sure i will be back soon =)) hehe

CNY is coming!

2011-01-17T00:16:00.006+08:00

well, once again... it has been real long since i last blogged.

i guess many things happened recently.
there had been times that i really wanted to sit down and just blog for the fun of it or something like that..
but laptop was invaded by virus or "virus"; and after removing it, my laptop seems to be super retarded. sighs. so i guess its a good thing that my desktop is finally back from servicing? i can now do my stuffs on my desktop except for the fact that it was not portable.

time really flies.
i thought i just celebrated the start of 2011 and now, its already mid Jan! that's seriously damn fast!!
and fast this, we have poster presentation rehearsal, WISP submissions and presentation, poster presentation, CNY, FYO report submission, final exmas, final presentation blah blah blah...
well, i know i am not supposed to complain because all my classmates are in IT too..
but still.. the mental is just so not there.

and guess what, was having a talk with uncle joey and we were talking about MYR
sugoi! i could only say ...im impressed..

sighs..you know what's wrong with people like me??
worst of all is that i only realised the importance of something only after i gave it up... and now that i want it back..is not possible ..really.
well, yes, i could still work hard for it.. but sometimes is about self-limit.
you know you reached the peak; but you just want to keep going forward, keep going up.whatever it is, you never want to stay at the original position..
but what's pulling you back is your physucal ability
i really have to admit that im old.
i can only say that i really regretted giving up swimming when i was a kid. totally regretted not going for the test; regretted hiding at my cousin's house.

and yes blackout. the kind of feeling.....
makes you think about things that you never knew were so important to you. because you are near to losing it.
what is it that you really want to do last;before you start to regret anything again
it feels so realistic; but far

and darn NAPFA; im going to screw it!
totally CUI to the MAX! ohmygod! HELPPPPPPP~

holidays are coming to an end =(

2010-12-30T00:16:00.003+08:00

damn it.
cant believe this 2 week break is already coming to an end.
time really flies.
but if u ask me, i cant seem to remember what i did during these 2 weeks..
sighhhhh.
guys! i wanna go the CSI Experience! =((((

super happieeee =)

2010-12-23T02:27:00.003+08:00

bought a box of chocolates for my piano teacher =)
and its the season of giving!! time flies man!!

opps.and my cousins just told me that there is 40% off if at least 2 items were purchased; and tadah. one more tube top in my wardrobe. =.=
looks like i need to practice self control huh...

korkor treated us (his gf eileen and my two cousins cassie and weiwei) to ICHIBAN!
woooots ! i swear he is the best! =pp hahahas.
opppps, and i forgot. he paid for the drinks at the wine company too !! =xx
love u all =))
thanks for making my day sucha memorable one.

bad thing is......we wanted to go timbre initially, but its so occupied; so off we go, to dempsey.. LOL! but still, it was a great day! because of awesome people! =)
cassie and wei! its time to go out and shop for CNY clothes soooooooon! decide the theme and lemme know! =pp hehehe! see u guys real soon

oh, and one super bad news.korkor is leaving soon =( booohooooooo
shd be seeing him off at the airport, and with our tradition => eat mac for breakfast =pp
SEE U IN A YEAR's TIME !!

ewen's 19th and shopping day

2010-12-18T00:53:00.002+08:00

firstly, happy belated birthday to ewen!
hope u like the present by me, evon and pearlyn.
and also the surprise; although it didn felt like a surprise in e end =x
booooo
hahas, anyway, hope u enjoyed urself, and last but not least, welcome to the club of the 19s! =))

today was like a super cool day. cuz went out shopping with JH in the afternoon.
and we shopped all the way till 6! then we buay tahan, too tired already then go starbucks to have a drink while waiting for the lost DIN! hahas.
sorrrrieee DIN, its raffles city not raffles place! hahahas.

only now then i realise kids like balloon!! hahahas, so cute.
all those kids then smiled at me, said hi to me, and ran to me, hehehe.
BTH sia, alll sooooooo cuteeeee! hahahas.

spent like 150bucks today =xx all thanks to evon lim, who never fails to psycho me everywhere i go.
and the most amazing of all, is the stop at CINE hor?? the high cut sneakers, ZOMG! EVON! that guyyyyy! =xxxx ok, im like nuts.lols.

its a once in a blue moon kinda thing that i actually wore a dress; thanks evon for tolerating all my angsty-ness and for being super critical and most of all, for being a real bitch! but, hey BIMBO! love ya =)) go out soooon!
maybe the amt spent has to go down down down and down! hahahas!

PS!
PEARLYN! wish u were here!!!

EWEN PEARLYN DIN EVON
thanks for making my poly life complete!

wtf

2010-12-09T23:22:00.002+08:00

korkor is coming back tonight =(
too bad me cassie and wei are not going down to the airport le =((
boooohooo i miss korkor!!

and my mum is such a SJFHEIU*(@&$#Z50 i have no comments
is either i try to act as if i never hear anything or that i will say EVERYTHING
she better not test my patience. these are all so unfair.
and why do i have to give in to her ! since when will she give in to me.
all the nonsense is totally bullshit!
she is DAMN biased. but look, who cares!

im me, myself and thats all. i dun care!

FML

2010-12-09T00:27:00.000+08:00

seriously. FML

NPSC AGM 2010

2010-12-08T00:11:00.005+08:00

once again, i haven been updating my blog for as long as i can remember it.

anyway today is NPSC's 4th AGM.

JIAYOU comm AY11/12 Jewel, ChunHui, SoonEng, ZiAn, YouJia, Anusha, Teena! All de best
and comm AY10/11 Jessica, Shiwei, Estella, Luqman, HongJun.. will miss u guys!
esp knowin HongJun for 7 years, only now then i know he likes gossip!! lols.

sigh....time really flies; its like in e blink of an eye, and its a year!!
miss the times when i was training in the range, miss the times when we have meetings tgt, miss the times when i bullshit with my comm peeps, and bullshitting with bff Shiwei, miss talking to jessica during camp through the night, miss tying water bomb bags with philip and edmond, miss paintball like all of a sudden
all these memories, jus hope they will remain in my mind..

sometimes, these random thoughts make me wonder.
as much as i hated 2010, i just cant believe in a few days time, it is going to come to an end.anyway, shant make much comments bout it.
hoping 2011 will be a good good year! looking forward!

time flies

2010-12-02T00:18:00.002+08:00

time really flies.

mmmm, its finally the last day of attachment
but i think e environment at the cck polyclinic is pretty cool...
its so SPACIOUS! seriously.unlike at NUH u need to literally squeeze to get to where u wan.

yawwwwns.i feel like sleeping already.
i duno wads wrong with twitter.is like totally buang. alamak
but im still able to access from itouch.so weird sia,tsk.
so irritating.shd have signed up data plan last time.tsk.so irritating

saturday!!! =pp

anorexia

2010-11-29T23:07:00.003+08:00

what exactly is wrong with me
why is everybody saying that im suffering from anorexia
that is so nt true!

for people who want to know more about it please go to http://helpguide.org/mental/anorexia_signs_symptoms_causes_treatment.htm

i cant believe im actually so bo liao.instead of doing my WISP, yet here i am blogging about personal stuff.
i really dun understand what is this world coming to.i hate it and yes.i hate it.

people just dun understand how i feel. and it suck ttm.
when u know no one is there for u anymore.

today during WISP, lecturer showed us some videos about photoshop.
and i really agree.no wonder the perception of beauty is distorted..

other than that, the video that has been circulating in facebook about the lady who was abusing her rabbit! although im really scared of animals, but i really dun agree with what the bloody hell they are doing !
what is this world coming to .like seriously! my goodness gracious.

seriously i really dun care about how i look!
so what if im ugly, so be it.
i am NOT ANOREXIC! i am NOT ANOREXIC!
i jus love swimming and running till im a LITTLE obsessed with all of it .
but i guess thats just all.
who isn conscious about how they look..
to a certain extent, all LOVE people to say that they are good looking, all LOVE to be loved by others, and simply jus look good.
look good is not just about looking good. its about how well u carry yourself, and how u go about carrying yourself.

im jus doing sports/exercises a little bit more often that others,thats jus it, and i dun dig, i dun go on a diet.
i know it is true that i keep saying im fat, but cant i just say it for fun?

im really tired. nt exactly that i wanna sleep
but im really so exhausted with life and all these bullshit.

sometimes, i really think i tried my very best
but i think that it is nothing but a waste of time
i really dun wish to think abt anything else.seriously.
give me a break.

friends =)

2010-11-26T20:37:00.002+08:00

has been a really really long time since i last blogged.
i would consider this week to be pretty busy..
PHT test on tue, CTM and CLPH test today..
screwed up for the last 2 tests but heck ! finally its over! (FOR THE TIME BEING)

no idea why, but im looking forward to tomorrow.
looking forward to the lesson =)) Hope cough dun get in the way tml!

PEARLYN, EWEN, EVON! lets go for grad trip tgt!!
im really looking forward to it! hope it will happen! =))
we can all go sight seeing and shopping tgt =) see a sea of pigs too =pp hehe
<3333s
and girls..PLEASE STOP playing PLOCK! i still cant break any of ur high score =(((
BULLSHIT!
hehehe, lots of fun in class today =)
and as usual daniel and din for their randomness..
super epic.=pp

awww man.i hate attachment!
blehhhhhs.im getting restless already! gonna find something to do!
TAKE CARE PEOPLE =))

disappointed

2010-11-22T00:17:00.002+08:00

really very disappointed.
i wun say i worked hard / trained hard for smth.
i promised myself to not expect too much..
but i didn know it will affect me so much...
i didn know i will be so sad/disappointed etc.

i know i love it will all my heart.

none the less, im going to move on
thanks uncle tan and uncle joey for ur motivation..
and esp uncle joey.although ur words are MEAN, but i can feel that at least u care.. =) thanks and im going to move on !

yuguotianqing

2010-11-15T17:36:00.001+08:00

sunshine after the rain...

NP Shuttle bus

2010-11-09T21:21:00.002+08:00

left house at 7.20 this morning
and it didn take the bus long to arrive...
but...by the time i reached clementi, its already 8.20
i duno wad to say.the heavy traffic and jam is o.o

i was stuck at the slip road that turns into the bustop at clementi mrt for 5 mins because a big yellow bus was blocking the road!!!
i duno how but yes...its blocking the road.
guess what, when my bus go past that yellow bus, i saw this familiar logo.
NGEE ANN POLYTECHNIC.
zomg, its ngee ann shuttle bus! and the ngee ann students are congesting the whole bustop!!!! arghs!
im really scared that i will be late the very first day of attachment and esp at SP5A , i definitely dun wanna be late.
went to take mrt, not sure if its a smart choice or wad ...
having to squeeze thru the crowd (of NP students) are nuts! totally crazy. took me at least 3 mins just to pass thru..

and then MRT! my 1st time taking MRT during peak hr, n im AMAZED! its totally SIAO!
duno wad word to describe like seriously.
i could only board the 3rd MRT, and i dun walk in to the train, i was PUSHED into the train.
and worst of all, im only taking for a stop, and i had to squeeze thru to the other door since door open at the other side for dover station.

today is totally almost crazy.....sighs. im tired already
hopefully can sleep early...
duno how early i have to go out tml sia.......
im looking forward to lectures in NP =(((

consolation

2010-11-08T19:58:00.002+08:00

thank god. that i have such a good bro.
what could i still ask for?
its more than enuff, thanks for the HTHT and the dou nai!

but im still tired, no matter how much i regret something,
i will nv take back my words.
and i have absolutely no idea whether to be active or quiet.. cuz either way, no one is happy.
and im just so not used to life like that.

so what

2010-11-06T13:36:00.003+08:00

i just want to be alone.
i have no one to talk to. and the only place i know my secrets are safe is right here.
im such a sad case.

mary jane?/?

2010-11-05T22:01:00.002+08:00

could it be that nothing is gonna change.

what the hell have i been doing

2010-11-05T21:19:00.002+08:00

this is definitely not the type of life that i want.
why do i have to do so much and ruin everything, ruin every single bit of what could have been the fondest memories.

im really tired.
mentally exhausted.
whatever it is.
just give me a break. or maybe smth that can make me busy and drop dead..

waiting

2010-11-05T13:48:00.002+08:00

should just stop waiting for smth impossible.
and get down to something more practical.
byebye.

please dont rain

thursday

2010-11-04T23:26:00.002+08:00

i duno what to say.
i hate today.
i hate myself.
i just want time to turn back!

many years ago.
at this point of time. i was never alone.

phew

2010-11-03T22:22:00.003+08:00

was really pissed when i see no dinner for me as soon as i got home.
i dun mean to be mean.
but.. this happens every Wed.. i have no idea why my mum just cannot remember that i have piano lesson every Wed.
she will just think that i am going out and leave out dinner for me.
its my own responsibility to not starve myself.i know. but ...
seriously. its every Wed! im really damn pissed.
but ok lar.. now eat already obviously that feeling is long gone..
luckily.
if not i duno how long my face is gonna remain black.

sighhhhh..
i really hate life now. its really, i duno wad to say..
jus wanna be at home, and do nothing else..
not seeing anyone..literally no one.
and just completely shut myself away from the outside world.

i really wanna be back at the past.
although i wasn exactly very happy in the past, but i was still happy.
what am i now.
nothing.
nothing.
and nothing

maybe uncle is right.
is it gonna be a wake up call for me???
i like my life in the past, can i go back? PLEASE?

GMH

2010-10-30T00:19:00.002+08:00

Check this out..
Was reading GMH and I came across this

1. go to google
2. Type in: "who's the cutest"
3. click "I'm feeling lucky"

whoever that created / shared this.... GMH

Hope is the only climate that grow in all climate

SG Nike City 10k

2010-10-24T13:53:00.004+08:00

2nd nike run..

its a good esperience overall.
lucky there was a heavy rain yst; although it jeopardized my swimming lesson, but think its a good thing afterall?? At least it helped to clear the haze otherwise i think today's run will suck.

i wun say i ran well today.just average bahs; hope the one and last one of e month will be a good one. one good one that can wrap up the running events in October or maybe even 2010?? o.o

Photos taken from my cousin's friend's camera (Renee's camera)

From left to right: Leslie, Cassie, Cheryl, Renee

But i think the worse part of this year's nike run was the ultra luminous green tee and the finisher prize!!!
i think the tee is still ok! cuz at least u still can wear it out (just tt its super bright and attract attention)
but the finisher prize! what the hell can u do with it sia!
even if its for display purpose, its NOT CUTE at all!!!!!

above, is the finisher prize =.='''
omg, whoever came out with the idea of it, screw ur head man...
was just browsing thru the net just now,and realised how many people were complaining about the finisher prize.
It has no significance at all lorrr..tsk tsk tsk !

enough of complaining, i think this race is pretty memorable too..
because its the first time i cheered people on at the finishing point??
i think im rather annoying lar, keep on shouting and shouting, but...
that guy who cheered me on during real run just sorta motivated me by doing so..
i dun care how annoying i can be to some ppl, as long as 1 people are being cheered on/ motivated.. its a job well done for me. and ..its worth it.
JIAYOU people and congrats to all those who completed the race.

and last but not least, one of the rarest sight i have seen in a race.
1. friends holding hands to cross the finishing line together
2. couples holding hands to cross the finishing line together
3. this particular guy that piggy backed his girlfriend to cross the finishing line
4. a pregnant lady who participated in today's race with her husband (heard from my cousin and her friend) --> PS// i suppose they walked thru the race tgt.. i salute them.. and its really not easy..hope they managed to walk thru it tgt

its really super heartwarming to see all these. and its damn sweet especially for couples.

anyway... this is a pretty long post, and im glad the last day of my holiday was such an amazing one! byebye holidays =(((

FC Barcelona vs Real Zaragoza

2010-10-24T01:54:00.002+08:00

GOOOOOOOAAALLLLLLLLL~

FC Barcelona Vs Real Zaragoza
2:0
yoshiiiiii!!! congrats to messi for scoring that 2 goals!
he is really as amazing as ever~

baby had so many attempts but yet =( none went in=(
ohwells, im sure the nx match will be another great one =)))
JIAYOU VILLA~
JIAYOU FC Barcelona!!

hahahas, and the most entertaining part about this match is the goalkeeper!
i swear! thats seriously the most entertaining part.
the frontflip.. hahaha.salute ! thumbs up on that..lols!!!!!
had a great laugh hahahas!

and the bloody no.7 of Zaragoza, go to hell man..
because of u, pique got a yellow card for the hand ball..
that was stupid can? its all because of u!!!
but as usual, pique is damn cool! he is forever smiling! even as he receives a yellow card o.o hahahas

real madrid match is starting soon =( but i cannot watch =(((
booooooooooooooooooo
sergio ramos, cristiano ronaldo, iker casillas, alonso =(((((((((
JIAYOU JIAYOU~!

DAVID VILLA! i miss u =(((

insignificance

2010-10-22T23:49:00.001+08:00

old vs new

2010-10-21T00:04:00.002+08:00

like what many would say...
one never know how to treasure something until the moment they lose it.
agree to the max. and there is no reason why i would beg to differ anyway

its a norm. for people to go for new things because it is nice/cool/good etc.
but at the end of the day, whether is it really that good as u thought it to be, is another matter .
this it is just human nature. and no one should be blamed.

you want the new things.you go for it, and you got it.
after you evaluated the level of usefulness/satisfaction etc, and concluded that it is not as good as you thought it to be, and worse of all....the old one might be better.
good luck to u.if u threw it away...its too late, and its just too bad for u
if luck is on ur side, and thank god that u haven threw it away.. make sure u cherish it.

most importantly. is to know what you want, and what you are looking for.

i seriously regretted getting the wrong shoe. can i trade for another one? =((

darn.tml got to go back to the most dreaded place..arghs.siansation.
thinking of it makes me damn sian already!.

motivated.tired.drained

2010-10-19T22:39:00.002+08:00

dunno if its the pace of my life nowadays ..
or is it sm other factors..
whatever it is ..i have no wish to go and identify it..
i just wanna have my rest..

everything is starting to come in.like nobody's business
totally leaving me no time to do wadever i want to..
tired.
and the worse of all. i have to go and do things I DONT WANT TO THIS IS SO FREAKING IRRITATING!

looking forward to a great race this sunday!!

a new record

2010-10-18T23:34:00.002+08:00

a new record =) new personal best.
jiayou jiayou jiayou!!

ohman =( MYR didn get 1st for real run this time =(
jiayou jiayou too!!
but sure enuff, its damn cool to be able to see him run!! its really damn cool!!!!
and he is really damn zai..! no other comments!

FC Barcelona jiayou! i have no time to watch the match recently =(
but dearest!! although u didn get to score for the match against valencia..
im always with u ! go for the KILL for the nx match, baby!
[i guess its a good thing that dearest didn score for the previous match..im sure baby will not feel very good for the goal too.!but ohwells, im looking forward to the nx match~)

ARGHS!
no time no time no time!!!
no time for every single thing already! time is soooo freaking running short!!!

best part of my life

2010-10-11T22:48:00.003+08:00

the best companion!

every monday is a 豆奶-day!!

need help

2010-10-07T11:10:00.002+08:00

i just need to channel all the energy to think... to motivate myself to do what i wanna do.
its common sense.
why would one enjoy all the sleepless nights.its crazy.

for one more day.
if i could do go back to the past...
i wanna make sure im not living in a mess.
im just human, i only want a simple life.
im not happy now.
why do i keep dwelling in the past.
slap me awake.

"aint gonna do the things i don't want to
im gonna live my life

sleepless nights

2010-10-01T12:02:00.002+08:00

past few days have been like hell.
all the sleepless nights, i have no idea how i survived till today anyway.

downest moments of my life..
i wun say its the worst, but it definitely is pretty much unbearable.
all e freaking random thoughts, i hate it.

and to bring back my sec sch life, its even worse.
i guess there just isn anything much from then that can bring me forward to a new phase of my life.

i just hate myself for being like tt.

for one more day..

if i could go back to the past, for one more day ...
just one more day.
to give me the courage to hold on to whatever is mine and what used to be mine.

depressed

2010-10-01T09:02:00.001+08:00

i really feel like committing suicide right now.

can any kind souls not ask why?

scary

2010-09-28T19:34:00.000+08:00

最毒妇人心
but..
a woman in menopause is the most scary!

way to go!

2010-09-26T18:08:00.003+08:00

FC BARCELONA JIAYOU JIAYOU JIAYOU!

new standing!!
FC Barcelona is now 2nd!!!!
woooots
1st being valencia and 3rd being real madrid.

i guess if real madrid won levante at least 1-0, they would have still remained 1st in placing.
but oh wells. concerned for them, but not as much as barca!

anyway! good news for the day! way to go people!!
xavi, busquets, villa, puyol, pique, valdes, dani, maxwell, bojan, iniesta, adriano, keita

its a goooooood gooood day!

2010-09-26T05:54:00.003+08:00

YEAH!!
FC BARCELONA VS ATHLETIC CLUB !
and yes baby! its 3-1! Barca's victory! woooooohoooo

congrats to Keita (55'), Xavi (73'), Busquets (93')

and to my dearest! u played really well today!
great job! its really nice to see u smile after the very first goal.!
although it was really a sad thing u got a red card at 86', but .. Carlos Gurpegi really deserve the box! im with you!!
great job baby!~ =))

but a few bad points
- iniesta always seemed to be targeted.. tsk
- my dear seemed kinda weird when he is running hmmm.. (is he injured?!)
- pique got a yellow card. but.. he is awesome! the first player whom i see smiling at the referee when being given a yellow card o.o
- dearest has 7 total tries of goal =(( (darn!)

FC BARCELONA! WAY TO GO!!!!!!!

yet another disappointment

2010-09-26T03:50:00.002+08:00

Levante vs Real Madrid.
Shockingly, the game ended with a draw of 0-0
zomg. how can it be. the last time they lost to levante was in 2007.
and other than that the other matches that they played head to head, real madrid won.
sian ttm.
there are just so many potential goals , but yet, no one is able to get the ball in.
sigh..sian ttm!

so far, the only console up till now is valencia won real sporting with the score of 2-0 and the most amazing thing about it is..
they scored in the 2 goals within the first 10mins of the game
anyway.congrats to Valencia..
looks like they are going up the ranking of La Liga as of now.

FC Barcelona, please jiayou !!!

wmhb

2010-09-25T15:16:00.000+08:00

what might have been.
it could have been.

whatever. i dont care.
i want my life back

booooooring

2010-09-25T15:04:00.001+08:00

its so damn boring to be at home on a saturday!!!!!!!!!!!!!

byebye

2010-09-24T22:35:00.002+08:00

if everything were like the past.
when things happen, i always have somewhere to go to.
that of course was the past.

sweat return the calls of tears
im glad i went out.instead of staying at home.
a calmer state of mind.
really hoping that im thinking clearer and better

really tired
tired of trying
tired of this
tired of that
tired of everything

so tired at times.

王玮璇:
吃得苦中苦，方为人上人
为了自己的目标加油!
加油加油再加油!!

what the fuck have i done wrong

2010-09-24T19:29:00.002+08:00

what the fuck have i done wrong.

u tell me u not feeling well.
i said i go to the doctor with u.
and this is what i get for my kindness
i hate u
i will never talk to u again,
bye

upset =(

2010-09-24T12:45:00.002+08:00

applied steroid cream to my feet, but who knws .its not getting any better=(
so i decide to go to the doctor instead.

sighh...
and end up..
getting more weird oral medicines that i have to eat. and of course a cream that is supposedly stronger than hydrocortisone. =(
and e worse of all.is.
i cant swim.
i wanna commit suicide =(

FC Barcelona vs Real Sporting

2010-09-23T03:53:00.003+08:00

YEAH!!!!!!
congrats to Barca! for winning against Sporting Gijon by 1-0
AWESOMENESS!

and of course! my love!!! well done!!
hehehe, david villa scored a goal at 49'!!!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOO!
im so happppppyyy for him!! =)) <3333 xoxo

villa and xavi had a couple of potential goals. but.ohwells.
they did really well tonight anyway

bloooooody 23 and 14 of Real Sporting! they suck!

if only messi aint injured!
i think he also damn pek cek sit there and see pique and milito get yellow card

but still! its really good to be able to see pique and pedro coming in in the 2nd half =)
(but puyol was replaced by pedro =( ..and seriously.every time i see him play, i really hope he can get the golden foot award ! JIAYOU Puyol!)

=(( its gonna be Valencia and Atletico Madrid in awhile's time =(
stupid sia, got work tml.if not its gonna be a sure watch!
i wanna see Valencia play!

hope FC Barcelona's standing will go up!!!!!!
Real Madrid and FC Barcelona JIAYOU! (althou Real Madrid is all the way at the top) ==>> heh heh Iker Casillas and Sergio Ramos <333

ok! its time to sleep!
good morning world! please bless me that i will be able to wake up tml, and theres no jam!

oh darn

2010-09-23T02:07:00.003+08:00

darn!
Pique and Messi arent playing in tonight's match!
arghs!!!
keeping fingers crossed!!!

go villa, iniesta, puyol, xavi, busquets!

Real Madrid vs Espanyol

2010-09-22T06:00:00.002+08:00

an awesome match at 4am in the morning =pp

its a great match to see the national spanish team! =)
Iker Casillas, Xavi Alonso, Sergio Ramos
Sergio Ramos was close to a goal =( but oh wells, i think he played well today =)
defensive player and his head butt, like puyol was wow...^^
Iker Casillas was as awesome as ever. the owner of the Golden Glove 2010. he really deserves it. All the nice catches!! Salutes!

and i forgot!!!
REAL MADRID WON BY 3-0!! wooohoooo
- Cristiano Ronaldo
- Gonzalo Higuain
- Karim Benzema

and guess what! Players from German National football team came to join Real Madrid!
Oezil and Khedira =))

Initially i thought Cristiano Ronaldo is just a good looking footballer, but wow. seriously, im impressed. He is good looking indeed; but i dun deny he play really well too!

But ...i dun think i remember seeing Kaka playing in the match earlier on thou..
hopefully can see him in some other matches!

guess i better go back to sleep, or my dark rings are gonna come out
but. i think i saw bayern munich playing right now =(
there is still match tonight! i need to sleep!! ARGH!

i hate myself.

2010-09-21T17:17:00.003+08:00

i hate myself.
weak.vulnerable.not just physically.but mentally.

the itch is killing me.

and why am i doing things that i dun wanna do.
i could say NO. but why am i not doing so??

sometimes i wonder,
have i changed? because i dun hate myself that long time ago...

there goes my sleep

2010-09-20T08:47:00.002+08:00

and again...
this isn the first time im committing this mistake.

wasted 63 bucks once for not checking
wasted an hr of my life for not checking
and wasted many hrs of sleep for not checking

goshhh.i really need to remind myself to always CHECK! sighhhs.
major disappointment in myself.
should really slap myself awake.
everything is just too late anyway.

hunger

2010-09-20T03:46:00.002+08:00

that burger sucks and its making my stomach growl like mad ~~in the middle of the night~~

~~k fine its already early in the morning~~

just whats wrong with me.
i just dun get it.
am i the one who changed beyond recognition? or did the situation just change
am always praying for the best, and still will..
please give me the courage!

and i guess its not chigger bites after all.
its contact allergy =( what shd i do! =(( suck ttm!

i better stop complaining or i will sound like someone (hinting to cindy)

i wanna be a saint. help.

Atletico Madrid vs FC Barcelona

2010-09-20T02:58:00.003+08:00

awesome !
the first ever match from La Liga, and i truly AM amazed!

kudos to Messi and Pique who scored goal at 13' and 33' respectively

David villa =(((
was traded with keita twards the end of the match =(
it wasn his fault. lady luck was just not on his side. i swear!
he has like a handful of potential goals! arghs!!!!! dammmmmnit!

and the players frm atletico are so... grrrr.
but.their coach is hmmmmm...

its malaga and sevilla now, but looks like i have to give it a miss, or i will not be able to wake up on time tml =(

weak

2010-09-17T00:05:00.003+08:00

i really hate this feeling of being weak.
the fact that i am prone to injuries, is already demoralising enuff.
whatever it is. hope tml's gonna be better.

and my leg got chiggers' bite! =( how sia!! omg.=(((((

went out with wei today.
hahas, cassie!! u miss out alot !! lalala~

hope my life will get more interesting =(

o.o exotic shoes!

2010-09-14T22:33:00.004+08:00

was browsing through yahoo, that i saw these news feed on yahoo.
awesome! great entertainment.i swear i had a gooood laugh at it while reading .

this would be cool! like woahs! lego heels.like cool!
except that it really looked kinda robotic? heh heh

if i can store food inside......LOL!!!!!!
and poor fishes.i wonder if its real. good luck to it!

gosh, how to even walk in this 0.0

Presenting to you the most epic, the most exotic, the most kawaii, the most cool and the most WOW high heel

that would be cool.! if i were still playing gameboy, i think this pair of heels will come in ermmmm, in a right time??? *sarcastic*
maybe they should start making one for apple products.lols!!!

monday blues

2010-09-13T19:03:00.001+08:00

jus whats wrong with me?

i frigging hate myself.

swimming lesson 11.9.10

2010-09-13T00:58:00.002+08:00

awesomeness from saturday.
cuz i got my NASSA gold cert like finally =))
gold star..way to go! JIAYOU!

lesson was kinda scary yesterday too.
warm up was 8 laps of side stroke
then followed by 6 laps of freestyle drill
then followed by 6 sets of 2 laps freestyle swim
4 sets of 25m butterfly and 25m breast stroke.

biathlon will be awesome!
any recommendation for high-intensity sports?

run/ran/run//\\away

tell me what to do

2010-09-11T23:41:00.001+08:00

tell me what to do..
im lost.im confused.

daddy. please be there for me.

yellow ribbon prison run 2010

2010-09-06T00:50:00.002+08:00

yellow ribbon prison run 2010 is gonna be the most amazing run i have ever participated so far.

why?
1. running with a poncho
2. running in the rain ( pretty heavy rain)
3. queueing to get back my baggage (will u believe if i said i queued for 45mins?)
4. how long the queue is to take the shuttle bus back to expo
5. scenery is sugoi~~~

but still ...sighs.
i cant help but kinda feel a little upset tt im so weak.
i really hate that kinda feeling
i guess. all in all. i could have tried to NOT STOP at all
but the pain gets too unbearable that i have to stop..

seeing all the people overtaking,
seeing everyone doing their best to maintain/gain their momentum
seeing the motivators trying their best to motivate the runners
seeing the banners (cum distance marker)
kinda make me feel guilty. and i really hate myself for stopping
sigh...

physio tml is gonna be a torture.definitely.and im gonna pray for the best.
hope tml's gonna be a great day!!

// Pain is temporary, quitting is forever//
indeed.

give up.

2010-09-02T16:23:00.001+08:00

i give up.
i no longer have the courage to continue.
bye...

whats wrong with everything

2010-08-29T15:35:00.002+08:00

what's wrong with everybody, what's wrong with everything.
everthing just seems to be in a mess recently.
or is it a fault on my own to see that the whole situation or fault only lies with me.?

Cindy:"Adults are freaky".

if this is a facebook status ..
i will like it.
i will comment: "whats wrong with my parents nowadays"

i guess sometimes people just dont know that they are carrying their joke too far.

27 aug

2010-08-27T11:17:00.000+08:00

today is Faye's birthday!! =)))

tired

2010-08-26T22:15:00.001+08:00

im tired......

u will never understand

flashback

2010-08-18T21:17:00.003+08:00

flashback of what happened on sunday seems to be getting the better of me..

and i wanna watch Spanish La Liga !

FTT PASSED!

2010-08-17T00:11:00.003+08:00

Yeah! i passed my FTT! woohoo~
congrats to me myself as well as dindin! hehehe!

the devil within me is growing
~~its making me demoralised~~

im weak

2010-08-15T12:29:00.000+08:00

im weak.
damn cui. i hate this feeling

tiring !!

2010-08-14T22:47:00.002+08:00

its a really long day today.
went for work in the morning. was supposed to end work at 1300 but ended up OT-ing for half an hr.
that wasn much of a point, but.ohwells. i missed my nap.lols!!

mmm.after work , went with auntie koh to NTUC, buy 4D and foood.heh heh
im so nice! say im nice! =))
but she was nice enuff to make me my egg mayo sandwich! YEAH!
Provence's egg mayo is like paradise! hehehehee

then after that..to my swimming lesson
swimming lesson today was ermmm. alright i suppose.
but however nt very satisfied with my performance bahs
maybe because i was lagging by quite alot

mmmm.
- warm-up was freaking long distance!! 600m of freestyle + 200m of breast stroke
- 300m of freestyle drills
- 6 sets of 50m butterfly + freestyle drills (10 double arm, 6 single arm, freestyle)

actually i would say its okay lar. hmmm
maybe yar .tiring and im not satisfied.
my bro is damn zai. one who have not hit the waters for 2weeks but yet perform better than me.
sighhhhs. youngsters... i have to admit im old.
and ... i think my bro is realli a potential pro-swimmer..
gotta psycho him into swimming more! hehehe!

i want bbq chicken wing rice =(((
boooohooooooooohooo.
need to control the temptation of L4D2~~~~~!!!!!

madness

2010-08-13T23:00:00.002+08:00

最深处的秘密, 回忆过去痛苦的相思忘不了

爱太深..真的会让人疯狂
this feeling suck to the max

let go.

2010-08-11T14:42:00.003+08:00

你要的爱我学不来
不能给你未来我还你现在
分开也是另一种明白

我给你最后的疼爱是手放开

one is enough

2010-08-11T00:49:00.004+08:00

why are things just not going my way today
to hell with youtube
im really tired tired and tired of what i have been doing

time really isn enough for wounds to heal.
which idiot is it that said time heal wounds.
even if wound heals, the scar is always there.
it is there. and will always be there.

believe in what i do
and never give up to reach my dream
no matter how many people believe in me
the most important thing is
i must believe in myself

disappointment

2010-08-10T22:17:00.002+08:00

im better off myself.

satisfaction? backfire?

2010-08-07T22:15:00.002+08:00

have i been training too much?
i was talking to my sis about my training and gymming session yst
and... she was like "wah.. wun backfire mehs"
i was like "hahaha!! wun one la!"

but after that.. i was like hey.. man,she was right.
have i been straining myself too much?
hmmm.anyways. whatever it is
im happy with my performance for the week.

Gold star ....is it achievable?
3m jump?!?!?!
100m within 2.5min?!?!?!
30 laps within 45min?!?!?!
its definitely far from my reach.
but....

NASSA is going to abolish that system already.
there will not be Gold Star next year anymore...
should i risk it ? Uncle Joey said fill the form first.
we will work out the training another time.
should i really do that?! it just seems so far....

when is the next gymming sesssssssion!

and
ITS TIME FOR NEW GOGGLES! hahahas!

raining heavily

2010-08-07T09:37:00.002+08:00

its raining heavily.
hope it will stop by noon.

a weakling

2010-08-06T01:24:00.002+08:00

why am i so weak?
i really hate this kinda feeling

sometimes.
is not about whether u can do it anot
but whether u choose to do it anot

its actually alright if u TRY to do it
but its not alright if u are not even trying
and the 2 worst cases of all cases are:
1. Whining and complaining
2. Lack of discipline

i realli need to work on these 2 issues ..

sometimes i wonder.if its not abt the hard work.but more of
perhaps already reaching my limits? but im so determined to do better

it happened to shooting.
and now it feels so damn screwed up.
haven been to the range for 2 weeks already
for all i know. i seemed very much like i have already give up
and i dun wan that to happen
a newly found passion.
how can i let it go so easily.

and to sports. physical training. self training
it takes 1% of talent but 99% of hardwork
but..what if i tell u there are times when i have already put in 99.1% of hardwork.
and its making me feel tired at times..
am i on the right track? or am i drifting away from it.
just like shooting.im not ready to let it go.
and i wanna do even better!

what guys can do.
i can do it too.!
why do people always think that in terms of physical ability etc or wad
guys are always better?
this is a whole load of rubbish
i want to out-prove this theory/mindset.but im too weak for tt

someone..
please guide me
please enlighten me

amazement

2010-08-06T01:07:00.004+08:00

i have never slept so early before.
yes. there is definitely times when i sleep before 12,
but thats a few years back?
hmmm.so yst. was kinda amazing.

i have no idea wad got into me anyway
and so ..i slept for 7hrs.

which is totally not the main point.
because after i came back from swimming,
i slept frm 2 to 5! gosh!!!
what hav i been doing man!
i literally slept my day aways. but good thing is..
i didn feel that it was a waste.so it was still quite alright i suppose

mmm.maybe cuz it was kinda rewarding?
hahaas!!
i passed my FTE! wooooohooooos! damn happy
i was complaining to dindin about how scared i am yesterday night
cuz my first pract session, apparently the 5 booklets i did all FAIL
and the second and third practice session(which was today), only 1 booklet out of e 10 booklets i did passed.
and i managed to pass my FTE! and i did it so fast that i din was so shocked!
hahahas!! first person to leave the room!
omg. im so amazed by myself! whahahahs!

heh heh..im happy!
and i miss u girls! ewen evon and pearlyn!
date me out if u girls are free
im literally rotting at home ehhs.hahahs!

and.im going to gym tml!
hope it will be a productive session!!!

because its holiday!
and holiday = training!!!

im gonna channel all the energy to doing the things i want to improve in.
and stop complaining!
i better stop whining! its a sign of being weak!

//fighting hard and working hard for what i want! //

2010-08-04T21:43:00.002+08:00

althou its "study break" nw..
and the amt of rest i get everyday is more than that of the normal sch days or attachment days,
i still feel tired
damn damn damn tired.

went jogging with cassie in the afternoon.
and then wash AXIO and then went to have lunch tgt! hehehe!
damn nice!!
except for the part where i was literally ambushed by something.ahahas

mmmm.im kinda tired being me
is this the usual me?
or am i faking too much,too used to it
that i have lost myself.
im realli tired.

super not motivated to do anything
~~esp shooting.~~

spanish la liga

2010-08-03T17:39:00.003+08:00

i want to watch spanish la liga!!!!!!!!

FC BARCELONA and REAL MADRID!

failure =(

2010-07-31T23:18:00.004+08:00

training session failed failed FAILED!
=(((((((((((

wanted to go swimming this morning
but when i woke up. i look at my clock...
i have only 1 word to say
"SIAN"
its really damn sickening!
and in e end went running only.and the running is ..
sian.even more sian.
i never felt so weak before!
the feeling totally suck ttm! i hate it .serious
i hate myself too.
i hate myself being so weak!
but.im really weak. damn cui! i dun like

went out for dinner with bro and my gff!
awesome i shd say! hehehe!
althou i smell really bad now.. but.
thanks to my 2 beloved friends. who are more than just friends!
love u guys ttm!
and...presenting to u the genius creation by yours truly!! ahhhhhh!!

this is freaking awesome! and chio !!! hehehes
ps. am not referring to e greeeeen liquid behind! its mucous likeeeeee!=ppp

neeeeeeds to practice more self-control ahhhhhh!!!
gosh!!
will tml's training be a success of failure too?
hmmm. looking forward!

what could be worse

2010-07-31T00:12:00.002+08:00

proj meeting was as early as 8am today.
and totally didn expect it to last till 12nn.
its really tiring
but. shili and evon have been such great grp mates
and i really felt bad for not doing much.

and ..to make the things slightly better...
my supervisor keryun bought MR BEAN for all of us for breakfast
tt was super caring of her! =))

met cousssssie after the meeting.
and thanks cassie for picking me up from NUH ahhh!
thanks! ure the best man! love u most!!!
hehehee... and also shopping trip even though we both bought nothing =(
and literally all money was spent on FOOOOOD

hmmmmm. looking forward to my training plan tml.
hope i can accomplish it seriously!
sat-that-i-dont-have-to-work ==> im excited yo! hehehes
im gonna make sure the whole day is fully utilised!

<33333
but im drained of energy already =(

screwed up day

2010-07-29T10:03:00.002+08:00

yesterday was full of craps
early part of the day was alright.
cuz it was just proj.literally sitting outside emart and do proj

mmm.i guess all great thoughts come in during piano lesson i suppose?
ok. fine. wasn thinking abt anything . but more of . sudden mood swing or wadever it is
scales & arpegios have always been smooth for me. but yet. i have no freaking idea what happened yst. or was it plain irritation? that i just dun feel like playing
its a bad attitude. but i guess what can happen, happens
then exam pcs was as usual.major turnoff.
LOL! and my tcher starts asking random qn that i have no idea how to answer
i can only say "iddunnnno i dunnoooo" everything i also duno

no faith.no hope.no motivation.
what can i say?