.Sunday, January 17, 2010 @ 12:48 AM Y
命運真的好幽默 总是讓愛的人沉默 ..
toooooo MUCH things happened recently.
esp this week. somehow it seemed like a pretty tiring week.
all the upcoming pbl presentations, assignments etc.
and the most irritating thing is that nothing gives in
and what happened these few days seemed to be adding to all the pain
not jus shooting but even swimming too.
sighh... didn swim well today too. simply put, i had cramps while swimming
and seriously.that feeling sucks.im someone who get cramps pretty easily.
althou u can say that i shd have gotten used to it, but the cramps really left me helpless. i was so close to struggling. but i didn because i managed to stop jus in time, so i still can use my arms to pull myself to the other end of the pool.
while at the other end trying to calm my muscle, i cld only look helplessly at the others swimming, completing wad we are suppose to do
and sadly to say, it took pretty long to recover, after which, i decided to continue
(supposed to swim 6laps of free style , had cramps while in e midst of the first lap)
after i reach back after 2 laps, by that time the others have already completed all 6.i was wondering ..shd i continue with the 6laps or shd i jus join them in their next drill... but decided to continue and finish up the 6laps thou.after that really buay tahan... its really tiring
i pulled myself to the toilet, and i really felt terrible.
being so incompetent, however was happy because at least i pressed on as far as i cld and was happy that the cramps did not stop me from wad i wanna accomplish
seriously thinking.
about something serious.
whether is it that serious.
what is it that i wan. what is it that u wan
what is it that is jus pulling everything apart.
no matter how hard that i tried in doing something, in wanting to save something
it jus seem to end up like how screwed up it initially was. or is it worse?
i really dont feel like going to work all of a sudden.
because im tired. physically and mentally.
i cld have jus gone to bed. but u will never understand the pain of wanting to slp but yet unable to slp and unable to get to slp.
because whenever u slp, the thoughts that will come in, will keep u awake throughout the night.
really wanna go training tml afternoon after work.
but .i guess i will be tired.from work and well as muscle-fatigue from today's swimming (high chance of having muscle ache tml)
but is either i go shoot or not .
but i need to choose between the two ..before i slp.
so unless i think of wad i wan to do..i can really forget about slping
and what diff does it make even if i dont slp.its less than 5hrs.
and the worse thing is the assignments., will i have enuff time to complete if i go shooting? and will i have time for training next week if i dun go tml?
sighs..
even thinking abt all these made me damn tired.
if only i can jus sedate myself for one whole day....
just so tt i dont need to even go n think about anything and jus slp!
p.s/ im not being suicidal here.it is just a passing remark