Really hard to see things openly but for this once, I'm going to do myself a favour and just credit myself so that I can don't feel so bad

Everything, to me, feels like a 4 x 100m relay.. It's just like how 1 person puts in effort and e rest don't. Because at e end of the day, it's not just one person's effort to win e race but everyone's effort


I did All i could..really.I tried my best






p.s.
will be here no matter what happens..just in case I'm needed u know it's a promise true enough to last till god knows when

Didn't know life as an adult would be such a sad thing for me..
Well,not exactly an adult but soon-to-be adult? At least i'm working now while waiting for school to start.. Never liked being dependent on anyone and I never will allow myself to be like one.. No matter how bad of a person I am with all my really bad temper I must really reinforce the fact that pride matters pretty much to me..
Now I have exactly no slightest idea what i'm doing, what i'm saying and what I'm typing..everything seems so disorientated.and I'm kinda at a lost

Everybody is busy with their own life. And it's kinda sad to know everyone is moving on fine without u.and it comes down to me hating myself once again for not doing what I should in e past; which is making me regret much about everything I have done which is a wrong step taken.

But what could I possibly do..



All those promises.
Looks like humans forget what they say and simply Promise too easily







At e end of the day.who's really gg to be there....cansomeonebringmeoutofdarkness

Hais!! Where is everyone!! Sigh a million times
Everyone is like busy with their own life :(( those who r in uni are like busy mugging and interacting with their new social circles. Those who are working are busy working..bcuz adult working life sucks max (but minority of my friends are in this category actually). And last but not least...friends who are off to serve e nation.. No matter whether they r enlisted to army/police (jiayou la people be it willing or unwilling)
Hais!! Missed e old school days man!! Regret not getting e fun out of it last time :( and now everyone has their own life to lead
Hope time will come for all of us to get together again!! Because yours truly is BORED MAX and SUPER-NO-LIFEishhhhhhh

Was watching The Last Man Standing on channel 5 earlier on and thought it was pretty motivational
I'm not sure where the location was but the snowy mountainous area was definitely not an easy terrain to run in..
Mental has to be there to keep you running till e end point and I really admire the athletes who managed to finish the race.the race was a marathon la..but I'm not sure if it was a full standard marathon of 42km or what.. But the high level of conidence and discipline e athletes carried with them was certainly worth everyone's admiration
I'm truly amazed :)

Just downloaded apps for blogger on my itouch and yeahhhhh I CAN FINALLY UPDATE MY BLOG using itouch..at least my blog wun be as dead as it used to be ? Hmmm
Booooo!! Cant wait for school to start man and frankly speaking I have no idea how long can I stay at KTPH..is it really the life that I want? Hais kind of regretting e choices made earlier but I have to admit this is e only way to get more freedom..so I'm not sure if it's a bad thing or good thing
Hope things will turn for e best anyway=x

Have been wondering what new discipline of sports I can explore..has been quite long and I couldn't make up my mind..especially things that I really wanna learn and overcome. And of course the phobia etc that is holding ne back .hais troubled max man :((

hais.time of the month..end up i cannot go and swim.
anyways.tts not the main part.called home after work to see if my family had eaten their lunch.then end up mum, dad and sis are at TPY HDB Hub. i thought it was quite near my workplace so i went to join them.
end up! i mixed up TPY and AMK! the one near yishun was actually AMK and NOT TPY! darn. its one stop away from NOVENA la..OMG
anyway..walked around and true enough it was really quite boring la,sorry to say that but ya there really isn much stuff there.
as TPY is really outta e way from my house my parents actually took 966 and changed over to 143. I think my butt was itchy so i told my dad i saw e TPY swimming complex and he asked if me and my mum was ok to walk to e 966 bustop .i was really fine with it for as far as i know i actually hated transfering bus cause i was really exhausted just now..plus my right leg is still very much injured.
i mean like im really ok with walking since we 3 came to a consensus to just walk to the bustop even though it might be far..but after tt i got kinda mad when my dad wants to take the opp direction which means highly possible that we wun get a seat. im not trying to be a pest here but seriously i really dun wanna stand so long cuz my leg is not of e best condition.
then end up he ownself walk (with me and my mum following behind also) and i thought he would walk to the 966 bustop but end up!? he walked to somewhere to take 186 which means WE HAVE TO TRANSFER BUS AGAIN...
the reason why i got so mad with him is like we walked so long because we all dun wanna transfer bus but end up! still have to transfer..wads the point right?! its like we are already somewhere near TTSH! i got so mad that i walked off myself.i really need to cool down or im going to just stand in the middle road and let a car run me down..
actually i have no idea of the directions i should take to TTSH but my angry mind ruled my body and i just contined walking till i got to TTSH..and after that i decided that since im there i might as well walk to velocity to see if they actually sell the thing i wanna buy.so...yupp...
after that i took a bus to bugis and then from there back home.its stupid i know but for the sake of sitting in the bus..i could actually do just that.



although im not as mad as just now.but my pride is too strong and i dun wanna apologise to my dad =( hais...bad day

should say i was pretty looking forward to this event?
the first time running 21km.
the first time getting out of my house at 2+am to go out
the first time taking NR to town (though i have taken NR home once=x)

anyway...thought all was gonna be just fine..but still...didn know things took for the worse in the end.hais.

feeling was great..really.. to start at 5.15am and the air for once seemed really fresh! the run was alright! and the best part was seriously the one to marina barrage
i swear!! that the best part of e run is the once at marina barrage..its really beautiful.

all was well...really..until the 14km that i felt the strain on my leg.i was not tired at all..just felt the strain on my calves only..i slowed down to prevent further cramps (but to my horror..its but e start of the nightmare)

after crossing the 16km mark..i knew i cant really make it..if i didn remember wrongly.it was the upslope part to ROM and to fort canning .hais..really.
the strain was so bad, muscle was so tight that i know if i dont stop, i will collapse with cramps.

u know wad? most runs had the motivational quotes along the way together with all those road markers.and one that attracted my attention most was something like "Champions continue running" ..SOMETHING LIKE THAT. i swore never to stop. but still end up hais.im a loser..seriously.

the worst part of the cramps was witnessing how my muscle twitched.. its something like spasm la so as to speak.hais.. really damn scary..i saw e muscle dent in la. its really hard to describe wad i went through
i remember somewhere after the 19km mark..which is somewhere behind the speakers corner, i suddenly stood rooted.the cramp was so bad that i cant even move~! i cant run and neither can i walk! basically i jus cant move..the pain was so intense that i help on to the bushes and pulled off several branches etc..it hurts damn badly.
after that i have no idea how i got the energy to move and sat on the ground..
a kind hearted man sprayed salon pas for me! really grateful and i have no idea why i did that but i told the person to help me get paramedic =.= i have NO IDEA wad i was thinking.anyway no paramedics came yet.(thank god)
but a army boy and security came and help me stretch hahas! damn funny! but ok, i didn mean to do it ..bt yea.the rest of the journey was totally walking ...

hais.i never felt so down, so demoralised, and so useless before.
i remember last time no matter how tired i was i still had the energy to have the short distance burst to the finishing line..now i cant even jog.i can barely walk.
hais.can someone out there understand how i feel.? its realli damn saddening and whatsonot.hais.

i could have been able to finish the race by the most 2hr 30min.but now.sucks to be me.
and the most irritating part is..i dunno what went wrong!!!
i was not tired, i even felt great during the run! everything was ok seriously speaking! i just dunno wad went wrong!!!!
this regret's gonna be stuck with me till i figured the root problem .

and i cant believe i got abrasions on my arm.should be my arm movement coming into contact with my singlet.hais! nearly cried when i was bathing..it hurts.seriously.
hais.things are just not going my way.DAMN.FML

now i finally realised why i cant accessed blogger.wtf.
stupid like shit sia.i have no idea why my laptop cannot access to pages as far as google is concerned.. like GMail, blogger, google etc.
lamest thing like shit..end up now my last post was like in APRIL 2011 for gooodness sake! thats almost half a year man

hais..contemplating to whether i should join JM for shopping on SAT! damnit!
its super tempting man!!!

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